MOTHERHOOD!!!

Being a mother changes a lot of things and we quite understand why many mothers give up on their travel dreams. In reality, it is not so easy to balance motherhood with chasing your travel dreams specially when your have more than a kid.

For a long time, we have been admiring one of our friends on Instagram. Her page gives us so much inspiration. Why? Because her travel goal is so LIT. Bolatito, an adventurous mother of 4 who loves to travel solo shares her amazing experience balancing her solo adventures with motherhood.

WHAT IS YOUR PLATFORM ABOUT?

My platform is about encouraging women (especially women with kids) to have fun, explore, travel and go on adventures.

DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY IN THREE WORDS

Introvert, Free spirited and Crazy

4 KIDS AND YOU STILL HAVE TIME TO EXPLORE THAT’S AMAZING! PLEASE SHARE WITH US HOW YOU ARE ABLE TO ACHIEVE THIS

I get asked this questions a lot. My kids are all girls between the ages of 13, 8, 9 and 2. I like to plan my international trips around public holidays. The fact that my spouse has a very flexible job and him being a good cook makes everything easy for everyone whenever I’m away. I’m lucky to have a teenage daughter who is very hands on and can assist her dad whenever I’m out of town. For adventures within Abuja and its environs; I do this mostly when the kids are in school. I get back in time to pick them up from school.

ARE ANY OF THE KIDS ADVENTUROUS? WHAT’S THEIR IDEA OF A TYPICAL GETAWAY?

My girls are as adventurous as I am. I allow them be themselves regardless of their gender. They see me having fun with my life and it excites me when I hear them making same plans about their future. I reside in an estate surrounded with lots of hills and greenery so their typical getaway is hiking up one of the hills to have a picnic and bonfire.

BALANCING MOTHERHOOD AND CHASING YOUR DREAMS CAN BE AN UPHILL TASK. ANY TIPS FOR MUMS STRUGGLING WITH THIS?

I have actually never seen motherhood as a challenge at any point in my life. This is the truth! I got married in my finalyear in University and I had my first child after I graduated.She was about 6 months old when I got into Law school. I had 3 more kids afterwards, started a banking career which spanned 10 years and bagged a Master’s degree in Social works. Motherhood can be very challenging but you can always achieve your life goals if you make up your mind to because you are your only limit.

EVERYONE BELIEVES ONCE YOU ARE MARRIED YOUR TRAVEL LIFE IS OVER. YOU HAVE EVIDENTLY SHOWN US THIS IS UNTRUE. HOW ARE YOU ABLE TO DO IT?

The society is largely responsible for that and I do not blame the women who are trapped in that belief. For me, my happiness is key and vital to my wellbeing.I can only carefor my family if I am happy and my adventures fuel my happy state. Moreover I am not the regular or every day mom as I don’t conform to societal norms.I set my own standards and work with it that as long as it works for me and my family.

HAVING AN UNDERSTANDING SPOUSE IS KEY TO MAKING YOUR CHOSEN ADVENTUROUS LIFESTYLE WORK. HOW HAS YOUR HUSBAND BEEN ABLE TO DEAL WITHN THIS?

Ummm! It was an uphill battle. I had to make himunderstand that I loved doing this and I plan to monetize it in the long run. I’m glad he supports me now.

YOU RECENTLY EXPLORED KENYA SOLO! HOW FULFILLING WAS THE TRIP.

I had planned to travel with 2 friends but they cancelled at the last minute. I was heartbroken and almost cancelled the trip. This trip was to Rwanda and Kenya.  I only spent one day in Kigali and couldn’t do much because my flight to Kigali was moved. In Kenyan, I made friends with an Argentine couple, a Kenyan solo traveler, a beautiful Turkish lady who had been traveling with her boyfriend for a month, and a British born Indian guy holidaying with his family.

I stayed at Bahari Dowh Beach Villas on Diani beach along Kenya’s coastal region where the sand is white and the sea is dreamy blue. I got lost a few times, but always found my way back. I’m not the adventurous type when it comes to food but I had Ugali and beef stew and it tasted good. I went on a glass bottom boat tour where I watched and explored the life under water, learnt how to Jet Ski and wind surf. I always got up early to watch the sunrise and I never missed the evening walks on the beach just to catch the sun.

YOU TRIED YOUR HANDS ON WINDSURFING AND IT LOOKED LIKE FUN! ANY TIPS FOR PEOPLE LOOKING TO TRY THAT OUT?

Wind surfing is so much fun. The most important thing is to learn how to balance on the surf board.

WHAT IS THE MOST ADVENTUROUS THING YOU HAVE DONE ON HOLIDAY?

Wind surfing

ANY MUM GUILT WHEN YOU TRAVEL WITHOUT THE KIDS AND HOW HAVE YOU BEEN ABLE TO DEAL WITH IT?

Yes, Mummy guilt is always there! It starts right from when I start planning my trip and ends as soon as I step into the plane. Last year, I had to take my toddler with me on a group trip toMorocco because of mummy guilt. Knowing my kids are in safe hands gives me a lot of comfort and enables me to really enjoy my time away.

FAVORITE DESTINATION TO GO WITH THE KIDS?

Dubai. It is a destination that is inclusive. There are loads and loads of fun things for the kids to do. The transport system is very organized, and the weather is just fine.

FAVORITE DESTINATION TO GO WITHOUT THE KIDS?

Anywhere that has a beach or a large body of water where I can Kayak, ride on a boat or do any other interesting water activity.

EVER HAD TO DEAL WITH BACKLASH FOR BEING “TOO ADVENTUROUS”?

I actually kind of expected some negative vibes but so far it’s been positive and I am grateful for that. I understand very well that not everyone will love what you do and I’m very prepared to handle any the back lash that comes my way.

YOU HAVE EXPLORED ABUJA A LOT! TELL US YOUR FIVE FAVORITE GETAWAY DESTINATION SPOTS IN ABUJA

The Kayak Abuja, the numerous Abuja hills for hiking,Usman Dam Bwari, Central park Abuja and Zuma Rock Golf Resorts. The amazing thing about these spots is that you can have maximum fun at very little cost.

ADVICE FOR NIGERIAN MUMS/MUMS TO BE WHO THINK HAVING KIDS WILL STIFLE FULFILLING THEIR DREAMS

Every mum needs a “me” time. You really need to live lifeand enjoy yourself. It doesn’t have to be travel; you can explore your backyard or your community. There is always something new and exciting to do. You only live once.